You Might Be A Redneck...

I will admit that I used to live in a very rural and very "hick" area of Northern Kentucky. I had a horrible country accent, worked on a farm, had cows for pets, went hunting and fishing and learned to shoot a gun way before you should ever trust a child with a gun (especially a blonde like me). As if this all wasn't bad enough, I also learned to drive a tractor before I graduated elementary school. Turns out, this would come in handy in the years to come. Yes, my high school had a tractor day. You heard me tractor DAY. It was a tradition that every year there was a day set aside that anybody could drive their tractor to school. It was a VERY big deal. People would soup up their "rides" to have the biggest, loudest, and therefore best tractor of them all. The drivers had to wake up extremely early to make it to school on time because tractors rarely exceed speeds of 35 miles per hour. I remember in middle school our bus drivers would purposely get stuck behind the trail of tractors so that we could observe all of the festivities. Thanks Mr. Bus Driver, I don't know what I'd do if I missed out on Tractor Day. One year a kid even put a big enough motor on a lawn mower and drove that thing to school. Ridiculous? Oh it gets better.

We just happened to look up and see that a helicopter was flying over our middle and high school campuses. And who was in that helicopter you ask? The morning news. Apparently it wasn't just the local news either. I got a call that afternoon from my cousin in Florida saying that he had seen the segment on our school and our makeshift tractor parade all the way down there. Thanks Mr. News Reporter Man, I don't know what the world would do if they didn't get their news fix on what the stupid rednecks in Henry County, Kentucky were doing. Even now, years later, I cannot escape the cruel jokes of my best friend's little sister about how my school actually had a day dedicated to tractors.

As if telling people that you came from Kentucky wasn't enough material for hillbilly humor.

=(

Yes, I rode a tractor to school.