How to spot a white girl that desperately wishes she were black and would do anything to be noticed by grill wearing, pistol toting thugs.
(My fool-proof checklist) =]
Okay first of all, they ALL have physical characteristics that are the furthest thing from black you can think of:
* freckles & pale as hell - think Casper the friendly ghost
* no booty whatsoever - trade in those Apple Bottoms for Pancake Bottoms
* nappy, greasy, ugliest shade of red ever hair piled on top of their heads [if you're lucky you might even spot one with dreads, thats a sure-fire indicator!]
Then you got the messed up grill, I'm talking summer teeth : some are over here, some are over there. Ew.
And don't forget the big wad of chewing gum that'll be smackin' loud and clear. This one will be painfully impossible to ignore.
As far as body type goes? They are never just average sized women, ohhh no. They are either crack-head skinny, chunky as hell, or just plain fat asses.
I think its also a requirement to speak more "ghetto" than all normal black people put together and multiply that by 10. Seriously, have you ever heard anyone sound so ridiculous? If so, you've sure picked a winner.
Don't even get me started on these hoes and their clothing choices.
They wear the most fake, turn your ears green gold, ever made and in large quantities.
Accessories are intended to enhance your outfit, no need for 8 chains from Walmart, 3 rings on every finger, and a gazillion pairs of earrings that say:
* your name
* your baby daddy's name
* your god-kid's name
* and the "hood" you're from
* ALL in cursive across bamboo hoops.
SO not necessary!
And PLEASE stop with the tattoos of YOUR name. No need for permanent ink, seriously.
If you are still having problems remembering your own name and are old enough to get a tattoo, you need more help than anyone without a degree can give.
No offense to women with tongue rings, but when these girls have them [and trust me, they ALL do] it looks trashy as hell.
They have to be wearing a polyester track suit too. It's a must.
Thats not Baby Phat, that's just FAT baby.
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2 comments:
& where did we come up with this theory? the flea market of course. where else?
i still can't get over the fact that you called black guys "pistol toting thugs" haha
I think I dated that girl once. It was a trip.
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