Unless you are Woody from Toy Story, yelling "There's a snake in my boot!" at the top of your lungs, and for no apparent reason, is not a great way to pick up the ladies.
The only "woody" around was the one in your pants you pervert.
The bestie & I went to the lake and yes, this actually happened.
& yes I made fun of his ass.
You know me; never one to disappoint. :]
This lake also had, "Swim with CAUTION: Alligators" signs. What kind of people in their right minds would venture into such waters?
;]
It was an eventful trip to say the least.
MOMENT OF THE DAY: *Redneck dad apologizing to his daughter when people showed up to pick up the raft they left behind*
QUOTE OF THE EFFING YEAR: "Daddy was gonna tug-a-lug you in the raft, but I guess its theirs."
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Dat's Fine
I feel that in order to speak Ebonics or "talk ghetto", one must be able to pronounce black people's names correctly.
I had a substitute last week that fit the white girl that wants to be black description only she was like 35. She spoke normally until she started talking directly to black kids in my class. Then she turned into Shaniqua. It was hilarious.
She could NOT however pronounce any of their names. She would apologize and try to compensate her mistakes by saying, "Some people juss say dey names different and dasss fine," EVERY time she said someone's name incorrectly. She did that about 10 times. Not kidding.
Then my best friend's mom, before I even told anyone this story, did something similar.
She was talking about stealing a picture of me that I posted online, only her normal mom voice was out the window and she said, "Put ya pictcha up an' I'ma take it, dass all." It was hilarious.
Needless to say, the bestie and I applied these sentence structures to every possible situation ALL day long.
Example:
"That purse is ugly."
"Some people like dey purses like dat. An' dasss fine."
*insert uncontrollable laughter here*
Its fun. Try it.
I had a substitute last week that fit the white girl that wants to be black description only she was like 35. She spoke normally until she started talking directly to black kids in my class. Then she turned into Shaniqua. It was hilarious.
She could NOT however pronounce any of their names. She would apologize and try to compensate her mistakes by saying, "Some people juss say dey names different and dasss fine," EVERY time she said someone's name incorrectly. She did that about 10 times. Not kidding.
Then my best friend's mom, before I even told anyone this story, did something similar.
She was talking about stealing a picture of me that I posted online, only her normal mom voice was out the window and she said, "Put ya pictcha up an' I'ma take it, dass all." It was hilarious.
Needless to say, the bestie and I applied these sentence structures to every possible situation ALL day long.
Example:
"That purse is ugly."
"Some people like dey purses like dat. An' dasss fine."
*insert uncontrollable laughter here*
Its fun. Try it.
I see you sometimes..
Last year I had a stalker.
Its okay, do not be alarmed. He was merely a harmless curly-headed skateboarder, but apparently he knew me very well the day I first met him.
I'm minding my own business in the middle of the auditorium when he approaches my friends and me and strikes up a conversation. THEN, out of the blue he turns to me and says, "Do you have B lunch?"
And I had to respond,"Um, yes I do?"
"Yeah, I see you sometimes."
Who says that?? Creepy. I Know.
Then everyday he would pass me in the hallway and make remarks to his friends or flash me a smile, and my friends all knew him as Cinderella's Stalker.
Now a year later, I run into him at Taco Bell, where he just happens to be employed. He asks me if I remember him and continuously made excuses to be close to our table. It was highly entertaining.
The best friend's dad didn't think so. If only looks could kill.
Its okay, do not be alarmed. He was merely a harmless curly-headed skateboarder, but apparently he knew me very well the day I first met him.
I'm minding my own business in the middle of the auditorium when he approaches my friends and me and strikes up a conversation. THEN, out of the blue he turns to me and says, "Do you have B lunch?"
And I had to respond,"Um, yes I do?"
"Yeah, I see you sometimes."
Who says that?? Creepy. I Know.
Then everyday he would pass me in the hallway and make remarks to his friends or flash me a smile, and my friends all knew him as Cinderella's Stalker.
Now a year later, I run into him at Taco Bell, where he just happens to be employed. He asks me if I remember him and continuously made excuses to be close to our table. It was highly entertaining.
The best friend's dad didn't think so. If only looks could kill.
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